Phone just rang seen name mam my heart sank because everytime she phone me always bad news. I was right she told me had bit blood when she went to toilet she phone the doctor they told here if she heavy or clots she got to phone ambulance straight away. They also told here because she got turmour it could be from that as she got bowel cancer for the first time when I listen to my mother telling me I here'd how scared she is in her voice I never forget. She been so brave and taken everything what's been thrown at here. My head been racing is she going to die now or is this the start of it I'm in bits I don't know what to do.she told doctor she don't feel bad she got little pain. She still eating and drinking I'm just looking for signs. The doctor told here to stay in bed and no lifting I can't get it out of my head hearing here voice she was so scared. I got the phone by the side me just hoping she don't phone to say it's gone worst. I have txt here she said there nothing so far she even scared to go to toilet. Just phoned my partner he gass engineer told him to be on stand by just incase my head racing. I even don't know why I'm writing it down for it don't make no sense. update to this my mother was rushed in hospital Friday she had all tested done and they told here it's not here bowel. She been waiting to see gynecologist she finely seen  doctor yesterday she had more test done she booked for scan today the waiting terrible they got to find out where the bleeding from. The doctor told my mother why here bowel cancer is inoperable because the turmour pressing on blood vessels I don't know how many more blows my mother can take is one thing after another. I just wish they can do something for here wishful thinking.im so angry in the way she been treating my head feels like it's going to explode it's so hard when you can't do anything just be there is so hard I feel so angry where have the doctor been all this time they have left my mother to long we wouldn't be in this mess. :(