Hi I have just joined site my dad passed away in Saturday 9th January 2016  of food pipe cancer he had an operation in July and all the Tumor was taken away but it came back within six weeks my dad was 74years old he has always been fit and healthy we went through a year of hell but every day me and my mum spent caring for my dad was so special I feel so lost without him xx

Hi shadow175

Sorry about your dad.

You have done the right thing in finding a discussion where others are going through similar experiences.

Hopefully you will be able to support eachother at this difficult time and you will begin to feel that you are less lost.

Best wishes to you and your mum.

Jane

Cancer Chat moderator

Hi Becca! Sorry I'm replying late but, hopefully everything goes well! Just done give him stress and also I'm 15 with a mother of 2 and I was heart broke when I read your forum. Just keep praying and it is possible for a miracle! Hope everything goes well 

                                  Meemz~

Hello I'm going threw the exact same thing my dad got diagnosed with a rare for of skin cancer... terminal which had speed to his lungs and bowl he has had chemo which made him very ill and wasn't doing anything to slow the cancer down. We're no waiting to   see what the next step is he is so poorly and I don't recognise him at all.. I've lost my happy healthy dad who is my world. He has been like a dad to my 6yr old daughter and she is struggling to cope and so is my mum I just don't know how I can deal with this :( 

I lost my Dad four years ago to lung cancer. He was diagnosed at 59 and we only had six short weeks with him. he went from being this big and strong healthy man to a very frail person too. 

i cared for him at home with my sister as he hated hospital and wanted to stay at home. 

He is your dad and will still have that strong mind inside his frailer body. I focused on how he looked, his lack of eating, his loss of energy, and basically everything that he had always been to me. 

I am so so sorry to hear how unwell your dad is, I too was a daddy's girl. 

my only regret about his illness is that I focused on how unwell he was and how he didn't seem to be the big strong man who always cares for me. I turned into his mum in a way and spent way too much time telling him what was good for him and not enough time, sitting chatting, watching tv, telling him normal stuff, and everything I would normally have done with my dad. I can never get those six weeks back now. 

i now miss him every second of every day and would give anything to change how I tried to support him with his illness. he was dying, and I spent way too much time fighting that prospect in my head. I should have been doing all the normal things and acting like his daughter as I always had before. 

Focus on your dad/daughter relationship and cherish every second, don't focus on the cancer, our saying in our house now is xxx cancer! it didn't take my dad, he was just to special to us all to last as long as others, 

sending you my love and thoughts, big Keith's wee girl xxxx

Hi my dad too is my best friend, he has prostate cancer which spread to his bones over past 7 years, he's on final chemo, last session, next month, I will be so sad without him, and I am such a positive person so is he and I am truly grateful for everything in life, I feel if I tell him I love him, which he knows, we talk about everything, it will be like giving up and saying goodbye, what do you think? My family are not ones for telling each other I love you, I don't want to make him feel sad or uncomfortable, perhaps I am thinking too much and he will want to hear those words and it will be fine, guess I've answered my own question. My mum n dad live in Spain so as much as I can visit with a full time job to pay the bills, this is over the phone which is very sad when I just want to be with them every weekend. Be great to receive any advise. Much love and best wishes to you all at this very challenging time xx

Thanks for your post, that's reaaly valuable advise, I really appreciate it. I am always saying to my dad don't eat this, don't eat that, which is focusing on the cancer. He's having chemo as a last resort. A huge thank you to you, I will be saying to him dad eat, drink and laugh. I am so sorry for your loss, and thank you for your post, I've really learnt a valuable lesson and I am grateful xxx

Amy, 14 years old

My Dad and I just went to the GP surgery as he needed a check-up. He has been having very severe abdominal pains for the past 8 months and the GP has just referred him for a scan and a blood test. My grandpa suffered from bowel cancer and he is okay now but i am really worried about my Dad. This is going to sound very stupid but I have a really bad feeling about it. It hasn't been diagnosed yet but I cant even imagine going through what me and my whole family went through with my Grandpa. Now, my parents are arguing over the fact that my Dad didn't go sooner and I feel scared and helpless. What should I do?  I know that this forum probably waasnt the best place to go as he isnt treminal but i just really needed somebody, anybody, to talk to.