My Mum was diagnosed with lung cancer 10 months ago.

she was doing ok until her husband died of parkinsons and dementia three weeks ago.she got through the funeral but since then has become very frail.

last weekend I had to phone the district nurse to break into her house as she was not answering her phone- I live 170 miles away.

My mum has been very difficult with my family and nurses etc during her illness and refuses help and careres.

On Tuesday the district nurse visited at 9.30 am and as Mum was not answering the door she called me as Mum quite often refuses to open door or answer the phone. I feel she cried wolf once too often because the nurse got in to find she had a fall on the way to answer the door. Hence the nurse paniced and got her admitted into the hospice!!!

My husband and I drove straight there and Mum was just the same mentally and physically but as she is also grieving seems very down in spirits.

Today the hospice consultant told us she is in the pre-active stage of dying.

Total shock! she is eating a three course meal, something I have not seen for weeks at home!!!

I told them as Mum is talking, eating and walking etc I do NOT want her medicated/sedated etc but they say she is in severe pain and as she likes to be in control she is hiding it.

I expected her to finally accept that she needs help in the home to get her washed and dressed and have a hot meal brought in each day but they are saying she will soon need the morphine driver.

Can I remove my Mum . take her home and care for her?

Can I refuse the morphine driver?

She was full of life at home last week and is still there albeit frail but eating drinking,talking etc.

Advice please urgently before it's too late!

Thanks x