Have a coffee and see how it goes? 
Tell him you can’t commit to a long term thing and you’ll explain why on a later date, if there is one. 
Have fun

Hi Hanging on.com,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear about your situation, but agree with Dave. Don't go into things straight away. Wait and see how things go and explain at a later time, if necessary.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

The fact your mind is blown, means you should at least go for the coffee. Even if nothing comes from it, you'll at least have an hour or two of escapism. Ahhh, to feel 20 again when we got all nervous meeting someone for the first time.

Last time I went on a date was 18 years ago, my husband was very cold and controlling so apart from the cancer thing I have a whole host of anxieties going on. Just trying to think from his perspective it’s quite a bombshell to take and I’m sure he’ll run a mile….

Not all men are the same. The only way that you'll find out how he feels, is to try.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Feel a little selfish, I feel like I should be giving all my time to my children 

Because it's only going for a coffee, there's no difference between that and going out for an hour or 2 with a friend, so you're being harsh on yourself as far as the kids go. About the guy, as things stand, you owe him nothing. You wouldn't get into heavy details about any subject on the first outing, date or whatever people want to call it. So just go with the flow. If he turns out to be someone you'd like to meet again, maybe save the conversation for the next meet up, or if you swap numbers, tell him before the next meet. Who knows, could lead to a new friendship, so even if it goes nowhere on the man meets woman front, you have a new friend. Not all people bail or run a mile. He might be taken aback because it's not a conversation we even think about. If you look healthy, we as humans have a bad habit of assuming you are in good health.

I get the point about your husband because my dad was very controlling with my mum. He was very abusive too, so i get all that.

Live your life! 
Your children will be happier if you are happy.
When we’re told our days are numbered, there is a temptation to hunker down, be miserable and wait for the inevitable. 
I went on holiday alone to India for 3 weeks, spent time making friends with complete strangers who knew nothing about me and lived in the moment for a while. The relief of getting away from concerned, loving and well meaning family and friends was incredible and gave me time to get my act together. 
We don’t need to do anything quite so drastic, but we all need time out from playing the cancer patient role. 
Be selfish for once! 

Thank you so much everyone, some very good points, especially going for a coffee with someone that doesn’t look at me with the sympathetic head tilt would be so nice. The moments when I forget are the best and yes if I’m happier so are the kids