Hello Clare37.  I am in the same situation as you.  I was married but never had kids.  Both my parents are gone and I am living with a relative and, well, basically I am waiting to die.  One of the things that has helped me greatly is my belief in God.  I absolutely believe that we go to another life when we leave this one, and I also believe that we meet up with our loved ones who have passed on.  Like you, I think of all the things that I never had in this life.......kids and Grandkids, although it was my own choice not to become a Mother.......but now that I am terminal I can't help wondering if I made the right choice.  However, it is all ifs, buts and maybes isn't it Clare?  The truth of the matter is, we can not change anything about our lives or the choices we made.  But just like you, I have been doing my fair share of reflecting since I began this cancer journey 5 years ago.  As you have already mentioned, you wonder if dying hurts, and I have been wondering the same thing.......will my ending be painful?  And again, I guess we won't know the answer to that question until it happens.  I have my  family around me (sisters and nephews), which I am very grateful for, and I am in contact with my husband, although we don't live together. I am sorry to hear that the only people you have are the ladies who come in to take care of you.  I wish I could offer you some words of comfort, but the only thing that I can tell you that I understand a lot of what you are feeling and going through.  It doesn't really help you, I realise that, but perhaps it makes you somehow feel not quite so alone?  I hope so.  God bless you Clare, xx

Hello thank you so much for talking to me sorry I didn’t get back till now I’m not great . God bless you too xx

You're welcome mate, xx

Hi Clare I read your post and whilst this is not about your illness it is about what I truly believe about when we go from this life to the next , I like Blue Girl truly believe that we live eternally in Heaven ,Jesus said I go to prepare a place for you that where I am you may be also ,there's no way God would create Heaven and earth and people if there was no life after death ,some people struggle to believe this but once you start to have Faith it becomes so natural ,I talk to God and I read the Bible (God's word to us)  ,I'm not in your position by any means but after reading your post I felt compelled to offer some comfort ,I would start by just talking to God like a friend maybe buy a Bible and read a little every day God can speak to us through His word and I'm sure you will feel peace and comfort from these little steps x

Hiya Jenny3109.  My belief in God has helped me a great deal through my cancer battle, and also many other trials and tribulations in my life.  In my darkest moments, I can feel the presence of Jesus and it gives me great feeling of comfort.  Take care, x

I have to be honest I struggle believing in God because I’m dying of cancer , my mum died of cancer what god does that to people. My belief in the afterlife in my mind is separate to religion 

I’m not saying that there isn’t a god I feel that the next life is older than any religion 

I know its difficult to explain because most people think believing and trusting God is a religion but I don't follow any religion I don't even like the word religion ,but if people could just simply find God /Jesus in their own small way they'd find what a good friend He is ,you really can talk to God and ask Him things I do it all the time its just natural and I wouldn't have an interest in life if I didn't feel God's presence and didn't believe there was anything after this life ,I just know there is that's my experience .

Hello Clare37

I saw your new message that you were concerned that this post had now been deleted, by posting this message hopefully Blue-girl and Jenny3109 will be notified about it and pop back on to chat with you again.

God bless you.

Annie

Thank you god bless you too , I don’t know why it has been deleted x