Hi Jenn,

Thank you so much for your reply. I was going to phone the support number you gave me but I find it really hard to talk about it out loud it makes me very emotional and I didn’t want to just sob down the phone to someone. I have an appointment today and tomorrow which I’m so anxious about I feel everytime I’m at the hospital there’s no reassurance it’s just bad news after bad news. Makes me feel so low and sad. I have so many friends and family who are there for me and sending so much love and prayers my way and I also have 3 little girls who I need to fight for so I need to dig deep for strength I’m just so frightened I want to enjoy life and not have to worry all the time. I pray someday we find a cure because no one should have to go through this it’s very intense. Anyway thanks for you support Jenn was very nice to hear from you.

Hey Michelle, 

Jenn won't be back on the forum until later this week so I just wanted to let you know that if you don't feel comfortable talking about this, you can make a post in our ask the nurses section of the forum instead. You can discuss anything you like and our nurses will respond to you as soon as they can.

We're sending all our strength and support your way Michelle and hope you receive some favourable news at your appointments.

Kind regards,

Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi Michelle 

I'm really sorry to read your post, its absolutely heart breaking the someone so young can experience so much trauma , and uncertainty.  I was on looking for info on lung cancer myself as my partner was told yesterday that she has 3 shadows on her lungs and we now have an agonising couple of weeks to wait before we find out what the diagnosis is.  this was all very much out of the blue. Yesterday she took herself to A&E from work after suffering chest pains and shortness of breath, following an ecg and blood tests she was then taken for an Xray.  I have no Idea what I can do or what I should to!  I was obviously met by an hysterical woman that if I'm honest I didn't recognise, she has always been the stronger person in our relationship I and just feel so useless  Like yourself I just seam to get hit by one thing after another, I don't know why life can be so cruel but for some reason it seams relentless and as soon as you think things are back on track someone or something seam to came and know you back down .

I wish you all the best and I hope the outcome is the most positive you can receive       

Hi Andy 

I’m so sorry to hear that your partner is going through this also it’s definitely not easy and the worry, fear and anxiety can creep in at any moment. My partner is the same he is unsure what to do and what to say because you love you significant other so much you don’t want them to have to go through something like this but you only feel this way because you care. Tell your partner to keep pushing for a CT scan because the waiting for a diagnosis is the worst part. I have recently found out I’m incurable and I’m devastated but I can’t change it so I need to accept it and move forward with my treatment plan and fight for a long as I can as my children are so young and they need me so I will fight with all my strength. Be strong for you partner Andy I wish your partner the best outcome and all the support and healing vibes in the world 

take care and thanks for replying to my post 

Michelle 

Hi Michelle,

I feel so uncomfortable when people are told they’ve “beaten cancer” and are encouraged to ring bells etc. That raises false hope and expectations and may make the staff and some patients happy in the short term but the fear and risk of cancer returning never really goes away. 

You need to remind yourself that every case is different and that you are not your Dad. This may sound corny, but you are bound to make that comparison - even if your brain tells you that it’s illogical. 

Let’s look at the positives.
You are young and hopefully physically fit - which should help your body cope with the side effects of whatever treatment.
You have a lot to live for - so you are less likely to give up on your treatment. 
You have already been through treatment and know what to expect.
You have a lot of supportive friends and family.

Different cancer I know, but my profile story shows how many people beat the odds. In a nutshell, I was diagnosed at Stage 4 and given a terminal prognosis and put onto a palliative care pathway back in 2013. Never give up hope. 

Good luck!
Dave

That's reassuring to hear. My partner is on the palliative pathway yet I can't help but hope.

Yes Dave this is true I believed I had beaten cancer and I rang the bell, it makes you believe that it’s all over and done with and for many people this is not true and I wish I had known back then but I can’t change it now. 

Thanks for the reminder that I am not the same person as my dad I watched him deteriorate from May 2022 when he got diagnosed until he passed away in August and it was a very hard thing to go through and I just thought oh no is this going to happen to me it is going to be this quick for me but as you say it’s not the same.

Thanks so much for listing my positives Dave I actually do have a few things in my favour and you have helped me to realise that I can do this and it’s not a death sentence.

I’m so happy that you are here to tell your tale 11 years on after a terminal prognosis and yes I will never give up hope thank you for your reply Dave it made my day all the best for you and take care.

Do you have any home remedies Dave? Nutrition exercise ?  

Michelle

My Mum and Grandad’s cancer experience were poles apart. All of us had chemo but weirdly I didn’t lose much hair - despite being told I’d lose everything because the EOX regime was brutal and I was on a high dosage.
Sadly my only deviation from the norm was drinking red wine during chemo - because everything else tasted like petrol.
Post chemo, I’ve just eaten a fairly normal diet with moderate exercise (dog walking and dinghy sailing). 

Hello lovely 

I had BC in 2022 

can I ask how you found out you had a reoccurrence? 

wishing you well xxx