Like I said before maybe we are meant to find each other and a crazy kind of way  Over the last couple of weeks I doubted heavenWill I go there that's such a place exists I hundred percent leave now I went on YouTube today and found this Type in   prioritise your life I was dead for 20 minutes kind of helped me Is this American chap story what he saw 

Ooh I'll have a look. I know there's a series on Netflix at the minute about people having near death experiences. I'm tempted to watch but a bit scared too. I nearly contacted the medium that Mick mentioned yesterday, but I think it's still too raw so trying to wait a bit longer. You're right, definitely helping having someone in such a similar situation to talk to. 

Hi Chris and Jo , so sorry you are feeling so bad . But I know how you feel . I still think of my wife every hour of every day. And I still can't go to places we used to go together. Just so sad and lonely. 
jo I do t know but they say you should wait 6 months before going to a medium. Do t know how true that is , but you should go when you are ready. Also record the meeting as there will be things you will forget. And it brings comfort to listen to it again. 

Ah thank you, that's a good idea to record the session. I'm in 2 minds about whether it would help. Guess I just want that reassurance that he's with me like he promised he'd be. Thought I'd sense him with me because we were so close in life and he'd know how much I need him but I just don't. I talk to him all the time but don't really get a sense that he's there. My 7 year old does so that gives me some hope. 

You're right, not being able to go to places that are special to us definitely makes things harder. 

Thank you for sharing your experience with us, as it is helpful to hear what it's like a bit further down the line. 

Hi mate I seem to be getting worse as time goes on   I'm angry  with why her why me   We were ment to have so much more time  then again maybe not? 

Hope you've felt better today. How is your back?

Been an ok day for us today. Usual home school battle with little one. The sister from the ward where Phil had his treatment rang today to see how we are. She was so lovely about him. Made me feel proud but so sad at the same time. 

Hope today has been better for you. 

That was nice sister from the ward phoned us there been a hard conversation i'm okay when I'm trying to keep busy homeschooling has helped a bit more today i'm going to pick up my wife's ashes tomorrow it's really really happening how the hell am I going to get through this just want to cry 

Be thinking of you. It's so hard having to do that. I have felt a little bit of comfort having his ashes here with us. Don't know if that's weird but it's bringing us some sense of him being here us. It is really difficult though so will be thinking of you. 

Yeah, home school does keep us busy through the day. Been doing some lego with them tonight which was canny but keep thinking Phil would love this, Phil should be here etc. 

Hi jo   I wish I could  I could just fall asleep and not wake up  again  I wish I was with Martyne  in heaven ??  It's all I think about but can't because of my boys  and I won't because I gave her my Word about looking after the boys .  I'm so in love my head such a mess I feel like if people are able to cope and I'm not one of them people at all  hope you understand 

Totally understand. The thought that I'm one day closer every day to being back with him is all that gets me through each day right now. Then people say don't say that when I tell them but that's how I feel. Didn't get dressed till about 3 o'clock today. Felt awful for it but just couldn't see the point. It's so hard and heels like apart from you and the lady I was telling you about last week who recorded Phil's funeral service to put online, no one gets it.