I can't live without my dad - anyone feel the same?

Hi everyone,

 

My father died almost 6 months ago. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my inspiration, my confidant, basically the love of my life. I will never love anyone that way again. He was my other half. We communicated almost every single day in some way (although I have regrets about how I handled this, which I may share another time). The point, though, is this:

 

I don't think I can live without him.

 

He meant more to me than life itself. He was my oxygen, my sunshine, my everything. He was the most remarkable and wonderful human being I have ever known (and will ever know). Every day now I have the pain of realising that he won't ever be with me again. I'm writing this post for one reason: to find other people who feel the same or at least similar.

 

Here are some things that I have NOT found helpful:

 

- People telling me to think about "what he would have wanted". Yes, of course he would have wanted me to go on and live my life. But I don't see how I can live a happy life without him.

 

- People telling me that things "get better in time." Maybe they do, maybe they don't. For some people they actually don't. Some people never recover from the loss of a loved one. He wasn't just a "loved one." He was EVERYTHING to me. And now I have the rest of my life to be WITHOUT him.

 

My love for my father was deeper and more intense than anything else I've ever known. Life feels completely meaningless without him. I have no interest in starting my own family; no interest in meeting somebody; no interest in connecting with others. Without my father in my life, those things don't mean anything to me.

 

The ONLY thing I want is to be with my father again - to wrap my arms around him and never let go. I've never felt love from anyone the way I did from him. He showered me with warmth and love.

 

Does anyone feel the same? 

 

Adam

 

 

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  • Thank you . I do envy anyone who can have faith in the accepted sense , I do however as I mentioned increasingly believe there must be a reason we as humans are as far as we know the only creatures able to comprehend our mortality , why and what allows that is the question I hope we get answers to when out time on earth is done , or maybe even before 

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    Hi, I can feel you and I am just the same as you, my Appa (Dad) has been through my thick and thin in my life, i am 30 yr old unmarried women now, still he is with me for whatever am facing in life, without him, I wouldn't have survived, he does everything for me even though i din ask, he cooks for me he takes care of me he is my best friend, even though he is of a different generation, he took effort to understand me and my issues and always been there patiently supporting me whenever i hit the rock bottom. He never judged me he stood for me Infront of all my relatives, he did everything he could to keep me happy and safe. I love him more than anything in life, i cant even imagine me without his presence, i don't think i will ever be alive if he is not ter. no one can love me like he does. I am so grateful for being his daughter and i wish him to be my dad in all my lives. I love you Appa. I am there for you no matter what.

  • Yes, I feel similar. 

    What keeps me going is that my dad would have been horrified to know that we are having to exist without him, and he would need to know that I was looking after everyone. But when the others inevitably depart, I want to follow. 

    PS, I had a terrible experience with Cruse. If you want professional counselling, check out Sue Ryder, instead. 

  • I feel like this … it’s the 10 month anniversary of losing my dad today … I feel like I’m no further forwards but everyone else is moving on … it’s a horrible feeling  my loyalty is with my dad and I feel like I just want to join him