We had 5 months from diagnosis to this with the last 6 weeks been horrific,  he fought till the very end and I'm extremely proud of him.

He was my best mate not just my husband, we did everything together and very much a team.

I'm trying my very best to think that at least he isn't suffering anymore and feel incredibly selfish that I'm devastated because he isn't here, it's the most painful experience.

The children keep me strong as they also need my support but when I climb into bed or look at his seat in the room or the pictures all over my heart aches.

They say time heals and I know it's been a very short time but I can't see that happening. 

Cancer now scares the life out of me as I have seen first hand what it does and it's the most evil disease I know.

Thankyou all for taking the time to reply to me, I appreciate it xx

Hello there

How has today been?  

I am 12 weeks and 1 day in..... and I am so, so sorry for anyone going through this.  Losing someone to cancer, to any illness, is so tragic, especially if they die suddenly or their life is cut short.  

Nothing anyone can say will make it better, but you are not alone.  You have an whole army of people "virtually" holding your hand on this forum. 

My advice, for what it's worth, is don't look too far ahead.  getting through the early days one step at a time is all you can do.  And when the pain comes, breathe......

Bon courage 

Ruth xxxx

Hi Ruth, it's been a very long day..still waiting to register him leaving which is filling me with dread as seems another step in him going.

Even when he was diagnosed and we kind of knew this woukd happen neither us of expected it to be as distressing and as heartbreaking as it was. 

I'm so sorry you feel the same pain I do and I'm so sorry all of you have experienced what you have.

One day at a time is all I can manage at the moment and seems the best advice as well as talking as does help to know I'm not alone. 

Xx

Hey there

You're right, registering his death is another horrible step in this awful process. But I think it's a little like ripping off a plaster (daft comparison).  Just do it.... it has to be done and nothing else can get done without death certificates.  On the plus side once it's done, you can start cracking on with all the admin.  In some ways that kept me going, it kept me busy.  I made a great long list of everything and everyone I needed to contact and slowly but surely I worked my way through it.  I'm not sure how many people you will need to notify or how many of them will need copies of the death certificate.  I bought 6 and then kept a spreadsheet of who had what copies, when I sent them and when I got them back.  12 weeks on, I am still having to send stuff out.  And it's not cheap....everytime I sent a certificate I sent it super secure post at £6.50 a shot and that's on top of the cost of the certificates. 

We owned our own house so I had to let the Land Registry know.... that only just occurred to me that other week.... just a thought if you are a home owner.

Once you've registered the death you can apply for Bereavement Support which isn't means tested and comes in handy believe me.

Please let me know if you need any help or support with the admin side of things, I'm happy to help if you want to IM me.

In the meantime, please allow yourself time to grieve.  I know that children are such a blessing at times like these and I know you will have it all on to look after them but don't neglect your own needs,  Be kind to yourself

Ruth x

Hi Ruth, thanks for all your advice and I'm sorry to hear what you and Steve endured.

I have had quite a tearful evening but I have let it out and hopefully abit more ready to tackle tomorrow.

Everything at the moment just seems so overwhelming when I feel we just need time, something which over the last 5 months we got used to having non of due to this horrible disease.

Thankyou so much for reaching out xx

 You’re very welcome, take care Xx