I’m really trying to be ok but I just feel like nothing matters anymore. We had a very strong bond, even had the same birthday. Everything I did was for her. I can’t believe she left me

I am so sad to read your message

My mother is in the last stages of her life and I came on this site to seek support 

When I read your message, it brought a massive reality to what is about to happen to me

My mother is at end of life and yesterday she took a sudden downfall in her ability, I spent the day with her and the reailty that she will soon be gone is immense and overwhelming

I lost my father eight years ago and remember feeling completely numb for a long time afterwards. I had my mother to look after and she also gave me support whilst dealing with her own grief. This time however, there will be noone to cuddle me and tell me that it will be alright. At that time I lost my father, someone gave me a sense of belief and it did turn out to be really helpful and I shall use it again during these times ahead and moving forward from a wonderful bond which has been 'spoiled through death'
You have lost your mother, who has been part of your life from the moment you took your first breath ! It is understandable that you don't feel you have any future; food does not appear to taste the same, you probably feel that nothing will ever make you laugh again, skies seem dark and the sun will never shine for you. One day you will eat a meal and afterwards think - I can taste the ingredients in that food, you will watch television or see somthing funny and laugh (and probably cry after you have realised that you have laughed !) and you will look up at the sky and think what a lovely day ?! you will be sitting looking out from a window and the sun will almost blind you and the warmth will return to your cheeks

You have a long journey ahead without your mother and mine is coming very soon, and I so wish that I could stop this inevitability, I am also frightened because I know that I shall also feel the same way you are feeling right now - especially after a funeral when good intensions from  people, who promise continued support but in fairness have their own lives and leave you alone with your own feelings 

I feel certain that your taste for life, for sustenance, for blue sunny skies and stepping foward in the memory of your mother, will slowly give you back a life, without your loved one but with cherished memories and the ability to continue; with great memories and the confidence that the life your mother gave you is very much worth living x 

This is the view from my window as I write this message to you - stay strong x[[]]

I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum. I was in denial even when she was at that stage and it  was actually sudden, the doctors knew it was going to happen soon but even they didn’t expect it the day it happened. What’s worse is an hour before she kept repeating to me ‘let me go’ and didn’t say she loved me although I know she did and still does. I lost my Dad 8 years ago too but we weren’t close so it didn’t affect me like this has. It was always just me and my Mum and I feel lost and broken. I wish I could give you more support because I really feel for you for what you are about to go through. I’m crying so much right now as I write this. Spend as much time as you can with her. Xo

Hello.  I lost My Mum just over 8 weeks ago and i can relate to several of your circumstances and feelings. The loss of our Mothers is like nothing else; it is so exructiatingly painful.  As you say, people say that our Mothers' wouldn't want us to be unhappy; they would want us to get some pleasure and enjoyment out of life. I know this is true; my Mum would so want that. But, as you know, it is not that easy.

I, like you, do not have a partner or children but I have some friends and family who are very supportive. It is the time on my own which is especially difficult.

I am waiting to get some counselling and I am putting quite a lot of hope in this. I see it had not helped you. Do you feel there is any particular reason why?

I’m so sorry for your loss. It is the time we’re on our own that is the worst and even though I live in LA and my Mum lived in London we spent a lot of time together and spoke 3 times a day on the phone. I never felt alone like I do now. I do have good friends and some family but it’s not the same as having someone who loves you unconditionally and always has your back. Counseling didn’t help me as they just listened to me talking and didn’t offer any ways to cope with my feelings. I talk to friends anyway so it made me resentful paying them to just listen. I think I may go to a psychiatrist or a support group or both as I’m truly fearful that in a really down time I may take my own life. 

I hope counseling helps you, I really do. People on here help more though in my opinion.

Thank you for responding.  I thought I had felt alone and lonely in the past but this is on a completely higher level.  Me and My Mum were extremely close. There were only a handful of days when we didn't see each other - the last one over 6 years ago.  What you say about friends and other family members is so true - no one cares for you like your Mother. She is there for  you 100% of the time. 

here in the Uk there are some bereavement counselling services available fror free and they do have some good reviews. One is provided by our NHS and they are due to ring me next week.

Sorry your couselling wasn't helpful but maybe a psychiatrist and support groups will be - worth a try.  But please don't harm yourself.

Be good to keep in touch and see how we are getting on.

I’m from the UK and will be back soon. The hospital gave me some counseling after but that wasn’t helpful either she was more concerned that I wasn’t going to kill myself whilst I was seeing her and just kept saying ‘that must have been hard’ to everything I said. I’m truly sorry for your loss and would like to keep in touch. My name is Melissa, what’s yours? 

Thank you Melissa.  I am sincerely sorry for your loss also.  Pleased you would like to  keep  in touch.  My name is Lewis. Speak soon.

Thanks Lewis. Definitely keep in touch and let me know how you’re doing. 

Hi Melissa 

I hope you are ok or as ok as you can be in this crazy grief journey. 

My lovely mam went to Heaven last September so I know exactly how you feel. 

I take each day as it comes and have my ups, downs and inbetweens! I like to keep busy but find on my days off my mind goes into overdrive. These chaotic, unstable and long days will pass so I think in the meantime we grievers need to just breathe and keep putting one foot in front of the other and see where it takes us. I have pockets of the day where I don't think about her which allows me to come back to the surface for more oxygen before I'm plunged into the depths again. I hope as more time passes that these pockets will last longer until eventually the depths don't hurt as much anymore. Apparently this will happen, I've a few close friends who have gone through this and they are now able to laugh, smile and enjoy life again. This gives me great hope that I will someday get to that point as will you. These feelings are as temporary as life itself so please take hope from that. 

Remember that your mum is so close to you now. We judge life through our 5 senses so our experience of life is so limited. Remember there is a whole other world out there where our mum's live, that life is alongside us only they are in Spirit form now, still there, just different. Even though we can't see it we know that bottom of the ocean is there, just like we can't see our mum's but they are here as well.  I talk to mam all the time, out loud and in my head, she answers and goes with me through my life. Ask your mum to help you and she will, take comfort from the fact that you'll meet again and until that time comes try chalk up as many positive experiences and happiness as you can. They live on with us and through us Melissa. 

Please stay in touch, we are here for each other, remember you're not alone.

Lots of love and chat soon

Denise