Hi, my name is karen im 49 yrs old and I lost my dad on 18th if this month to cancer of the oesophagus, with secondaries in his lungs.... feel so sad and lost.. so worried about my mum...
Hi Karen. I am 39. My dad had 3 kinds of cancer and lived with it for a long time. Then in July he died of a disease called PML which can be caused by one of the cancer drugs he took years ago. I wached him deteriorate for 6 months. First he lost his ability to walk. Then he lost his ability to talk. He would try but just gibberish would come out. Then he went blind. I would go into the nursing home and hold his hand and all he could do is tap me with his thumb. He couldn't even use his right arm. It wouldn't work. He was such a tender hearted person. He suffered with sickness and pain his whole life. My heart still bleeds when I think about what the poor guy went through.they would lift him out of bed with a machine and it looked so uncomfortable. Since he was blind and disoriented he was probably so terrified. He would scream. Then on July 16th of 2017 I and my brother, my uncle, and my dad's girlfriend were in his room ( I spent that whole night with him ) he had an oxygen mask on and he started to struggle for air even with the mask on and his hand was turning blue from lack of oxygen. His heart stopped and he died. I saw his body lying there with his eyes wide open stiff as a board and I broke down and cried like never before. I still cry at least several times a week and I am crying now . I can't describe the pain. I talk to him every single day. It is the worst thing that ever happened to me. So you are not alone. Every single day somebody in this world feels a similar kind of pain. I say similar cause no 2 people are the same. I pray that you find some peace eventually but it won't happen right away. Greg
im sorry I ha ent been in here in a while. I started a new job and have been travelling every week during the week leaving weekends to catch-up on all the housework.
how are you getting on? It’s nearly March. It’s worse when people stop visiting which isn’t their fault but is hard for the person grieving.
my Dad is on his third round of chemo. My mum said the consultant said my dad had 12 months but he seems fine. It’s strange knowing his got this thing inside him that will kill him one day. It seems positive he’s on his third round of chemo but I can’t help thinking that’s nearly 3 months down.
enough about me now. How about you? Have you started to do anything to pick yourself up? I know that the best way to beat depression is to have something to look forward to. I know once that thing is over the depression comes back, but that break from it will work wonders down the line. You can then plan the next thing to look forward to. Include your mum as well. Maybe trips to the Lake District. I’ve heard Oxford (I think it’s Oxford) has a tiny little village full of bookshops and has old charm - that may be a nice place. If you book it for a few months down the line it will give your mum something to look forward to. The looking forward to part is better than actually doing/ going there.
Hi my name is andrew and am 52 nearly my dad died in january 2014 his name was alan its hard everyday he was 72 heart op went wrong some times would like a time machine but i know hes gone , hope yu get this!
