When I first lost my dad those images were the only ones I could find it my head. After several months those images have been taken over by all the happy ones once again. There are several things people tell you when you've lost a loved and that is that they're all around you, this again took several months to find. Your brain lets you process as much as you can handle bit by bit, I'm very much a why person and found myself doing lots of research on my dads type of cancer which helped me. I've also tried to take more positives out of the situation than keep focusing on the negatives. Week 5 I was at my lowest and really struggled with extremely high blood pressure and heart problems (broken heart syndrome) I got myself in quite a mess. Being on here makes you realise there are others better off than us and others worse off. All in all we've all lost somebody we didn't want to be it young or old and for that reason we are all suffering the same.  I always look back at photos and think who'd of thought Dad was going to die X amount of weeks after that. There was 1 of him on holiday with my daughter 5 weeks before he passed away, so surreal. I would never of wanted to know that he only had so many weeks to live as those weeks would of been ruined. We're all going to die at some point and we don't know when therefore we should live our lives that way. I hope the days are kind to you and I'm always here if you want a chat x