Oh Phil, that is so heartbreaking to read and I specifically logged on to see how you were getting on. I'm so so sorry. Its all just really the worst situation to be faced with. To have to watch our precious Dad leave us is just the stuff of nightmares.

It is very little consolation but when we see our Dads in this way, the only cure they have unfortunately is to leave us. It is the best thing for them but not us. It is still never something that you can accept. It's 5 weeks since my Dad left us and it still hasn't hit me. It brings its own questions of what's the point of everything and what's it all for. 

As you probably know, they say the hearing is the last thing to go so chat around him. Let him still be part of things as he is still there just caught somewhere as I described Dad. Talk to him, reminisce about things. Share the stories of him. He can hear you. Leave nothing unsaid. 

Thinking of you all x

Hi 

Thanks for those kind words , Dads on a driver as the local team’s have been out and will be back tomorrow to replenish the driver every 24hrs.

Im staying until the end but will need to be here for Mum after that , so much goes through your mind , it’s exhausting - this is the most difficult emotional thing I’ve ever had to endure . We’re mindful of talking to Dad so I need to let him know I’ve done some stuff in the garden today , my mind goes blank when I’m in the garden so it’s good for me . Anyhow thanks for everything , oh and we have Marie Curie coming tonight which will make me feel settled knowing there’s a professional at hand .

Phil  

Oh it is absolutely. It's emotionally draining. There's great comfort having a medical person there. I was so fearful of missing Dad as we didn't know what to look out for. We had no death rattle or anything like that. We almost did miss it as when the night nurse came, she asked us all to leave so she could tend to dad and make him more comfortable. My sis just heard my mam say he's not breathing and we just heard the nurse say call them in quick. We ran back in and luckily had 7 mins before she felt no pulse. They say they pass at certain times and we had sat with him all day never leaving his side. The min the nurse came and we were all outside he made his move. Mam had just re-entered the room and knew by looking at him that he was going. It was typical as he had always tried to protect us and shield us from all worry and harm. There was panic initially as we thought he was gone. I calmed everyone down cos I didn't want our panicked screams to be the last thing he heard. We told him we loved him etc and then sang him his favourite song. He died with a tear in his eye and what looked like a smile on his face. It was very peaceful and he really looked like he was just asleep and I really hope we did him proud.

It's hard to know what to expect when the time comes and I dreaded that moment for so long but as hard as it was there is no other place I would rather have been. I had often thought I'd rather just get the call but that was just me trying to avoid the inevitable and not face up to things. Being there for your Dad is the only thing you can do. 

Yes it will be tough for your mam and everyone involved but my mam has really taken me by surprise with her strength. Dad was the glue that held us together but mam has really stepped up. Watch out for any of your siblings who have struggled so far. I have one who is not dealing with things at all. 

I hope you all get through the night. 

Hi 

Thank you so much for those who have posted as it helped me to divert my mind away for a brief moment .

Unfortunatly Dad passed away today at 4.30 pm with Mum holding his hand and myself and 2 of my brothers beside him , he slipped away peacefully and without a doubt he was in no pain .Mum told her husband of 60 years to go towards the light as Dads parents would be waiting for him , within minutes that’s exactly what Dad did , I watched him slip away and I felt proud that my Father fought  Cancer for 15 years and it’s my Father who won as he was 84 years old .

In Memory of my Father Bernard next year in late spring I’m going to walk 187 miles of the Pembrokeshire coastline within 10 days or less , I’ll donate the funds to the 3 charities that have helped us .

RIP Dad we all love you xx

I'm so sorry, my thoughts and love are with you xxxxxxx

Oh Phil I'm so sorry to hear this. Your dad like my dad now has his cure. You can be so proud of yourself for being there for your Dad to see him off on his final journey. 

RIP Bernard.

Take care

Hi, H3, You are having a world of pain, I am so so sorry you have to go through this, I was stunned reading your post, I thought, This family has had to go through so much trauma, I will say a prayer for you, and am sending you a hug.

God Bless you.

Thanks so much for the recent comments after our sad news , if I can help other’s  on their journey I’ll try my best .

Phil

Hi Phil, just wondering how you are. Thinking of you at this horrible time. 

Hi Everythingchanges

Dads funeral is on the 10th September , we booked an hour so it wasn’t rushed ! We want to take our time and we don’t want Mum to feel pressured , Mum went to see Dad today and she was extremely upset , I couldn’t go but she said that Dad looked like he was sleeping , my younger brother went with her . Thank god he looked that way as I’ve been worried about that part as I didn’t want Mum’s  last memory of Dad after 64 years together to be a truely unpleasant one . It’s bad enough for them .

As for me well I feel as though I’ve just not seen him for a week or so ,I work away but I’m currently on long term leave due to all that’s been happening ,  I've played the odd video clip on my phone just to hear his voice more than anything . I've blanked out the memory of his last hours we had with him after he went as his face changed so much , he sort of wasn’t my Dad !!

I’m dreading the day but will just need to get to it , then do it and get by as best as . I think we’re in good shape regards all of the arrangements but one thing that has stuck in my head is that my signature is on Dads Death Certificate and will be forever , it’s history for future generations to see . That’s sort of struck me as final , I’m ok with it though . 

Thanks again for asking and I hope your moving forward .

Regards

Phil