The palliative nurse think he's comfortable as he's aleep he doesn't seem in pain hopefully. Weird coz he's still mobile he can get himself to the toilet and back unaided.... yet they say days. It doesn't seem real.hes gone from mobile at home eating Xmas dinner to been asleep nearly all day I don't think he's eaten today he hasn't drank much. This *** cancer is horrid it's draining the life from him before my eyes. I know this would happen but seeing it isn't real. Even yesterday at this time he was talking to us but today we barely had a few words. X 

hi my dad had stage 4 lung cancer he passed away last 10th January. One thing that has helped me was actually filmed him his voice when chatting to me and had fun with my sons on Snapchat I know it sounds silly but it helped me and the kids . It’s going to be hard to see yr dad change it’s scary and hard I still cry myself to sleep just thinking about my dad my only parent . My partner 6 months ago had Leukaemia his gone threw all the treatment and his in remission but wished to god I had my dad to talk to about it I’m crying just writing this to you . 

Its the worst possible thing we have to go threw knowing life goes on and we’re stuck in this pain and people walk by me and I’m in pain I just want the world to stop somtimes to let me breath . We’re all here for u and if u contact Macmillian helpline about money matters they maybe be able to help u 

I am so sorry not to have read your last post earlier; sometimes it is not obvious to work out who has posted a further time.  I do hope your dad is still pain-free and at rest with himself.  I do understand the unreality of the situation.  It does sound as though his body is gradually slowing down but i t is difficult to know howo long the process will take.  It is said that hearing can be the last sense to go so do talk to him even if he is not obviously listening.  I will make sure to look out for any further posts as I know this must be heartbreaking for you.  Annie

My dad passed away Friday. I was with him,  just numb,  lost, scared, I've now got this mountain to climb I've gotta sort everything out,  no idea where to start. I haven't registered his dearth yet the hospital haven't got my the certificate yet.  It's just not real.  I go to his house n it's just as if he's in hospital still.  I know it hasn't sunk in yet. Xx

I am sorry to read this; and sorry I could not respond earlier.  A few (extremely minor) things kept me away from home for a few days.  You have been a good son doing your best to help your dad through this; it will have been a great comfort to him.  Were you on your own with your dad when he died or were other family members there too?  Is there any help we can give you (practical or emotional) - please do tell us.  I hope your employers are now giving you some time off work to cope with all this.  Just go with what you feel at the moment - there is no set pattern for grieving.  At this time of course there are things to organise, people to contact which can be be difficult in itself but somehow it keeps you going.  How are you coping?  Annie

That's ok,  time seems to just dissapear lately. It's 6 weeks today since he died and so much has changed since then.  3 weeks since we buried him.  He did wake up the fri morning he died n saw me did there,  but there was nothing I could do i know he was scared.  There was myself my bro,  and sister in law there. I just knew he was going.... could see it in his face,  his chest I just left out couldn't stop crying when he died it was surreal. I think it hasn't sunk in yet everyone I thunk of it my mind seems to change it to he's ok he's just at home ok,  or in hospital.... It's not sunk in yet.  I'm now back at work 5th day today.  I'm shattered must be I  50 hrs end of today.  I'm feeling the pressure. Just last night had 4 letters to deal with dads estate, just draining. Dealing with all the legalities is hard work esp with 50 he week job

Not sure how I'm coming feel drained n ill at mo

Xxxx

Hi again.  It is so difficult to understand that someone who has loved you all your life is no longer going to be with you.  I think going through all the formalities just rubs it in but at least it keeps you busy.  You just have to go through it although I hope you are and your family are sticking together and supporting each other.  I have already said what I think of the attitude of your emplyers but hey I am impressed by the way you kept everything going despite the emotional and physical cost to yourself.  You have been a very good son.  The love for your father is a part of you and will always remain with you but the constant pain will gradually subside - honest.    As we get older we all become conversant with the pain that can occur but we can remember those we have loved and lost with a smile and a memory etched in your soul and, yes, pangs of sorrow from time to time.  Sorry if that sounds a bit dramatic but it is what I have found over the years.    Annie

Yeah it has defo kept me busy, things keep popping up lately yet to deal with but I guess all part n parcel of been next of kin. I am exhausted with work I did manage to speak to a high up manager but nothing has come of it, it's hard to reduce hrs when your needed so much in store..... but hey ho. I think you got the wrong end of the stick I'm his daughter lol, easy mistake, there is myself and my bro, he's younger then me. Thing is aswell we had to have my cat put to sleep un expectadly few days ago so more emotional turmoil. Life doesn't seem to like me at the mo. I seem to just accept it, I know *** happens but come on..... it is what u make it I guess.  It's 8 weeks today since he died. So I treated myself to some jewellery. It's just sometimes I want to tell I'm not ok I'm sad and life is crap. But I have to always put on a strong head face front whatever. But sometimes I'm dying inside 

Katy xxxx

Hi again.  I am so sorry Katy; I don't know why I assumed you were male.  This is not the first time that I have made this mistake.  So sorry about your cat; from one animal-lover to another I know how much they become a part of you.  I have cried buckets over my rescue dogs when they die and always try to make up for their early days when they were unwanted.  I found it takes a long time to assimilate the traumatic time you have been through but eventually you learn to store the happy memories as well as the sad ones and can even smile and laugh when you remember things - honest!  Good on you for buying your jewelry - you can always associate it with your dad and hope he sees you wearing it (from somewhere we don't understand!)  I still "talk" to my mum and dad who died years ago - it makes me feel better if nothing else.  It can also be a bit grim to realise that all the things they said but which we in the arrogance of youth thought were rubbish were actually good sense.  You have been (and still are) doing a good job.  Annie

Struggling tonight,  looking at his photos.  Just sat earlier looking out the window just feeling so sorry for him n how lonely he was after my step mum was killed.  N note hes gone aswell. It doesn't seem fair.  Am auntie died last week aswell, but she was old had lived her life. It's sad but not unexpected. I just miss dad so much it will be 11 weeks on fri since he passed. Just feel as if hes still here, just I'm not with him.  Or I can ring him coz hes busy.... doesn't real yet at all

Katy

Xxxx