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Continuing the journey

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Hi Jules,

    Glad to hear your daughter and baby are doing well - love the idea of a rocking chair.  It's good that your hubby is more focused now he has another grandson to look after, but sorry to hear he has had some pain of late.  I expect he (and you) will be feeling apprehensive about his forthcoming check-ups.

    I'm a little better but the bug is still there, doesn't seem to want to leave and is very annoying.  Had a quietish weekend but have been to the house sorting out Mum's clothes which was a bit hard.  Eldest has had his home-cooked dinner and now gone off to do a shift back at the care-home where he previously worked.  He will do some weekend work when he can for extra money, so is a real busy bee.  Youngest at football with hubby so I may go and have a wander around the shops for an hour and get some fresh air.  Take care and enjoy all your baby time.  Hope x

  • Good afternoon, Jules,

    So glad your rocking chair was well received by . . . Your husband! That made me chuckle!

    Your daughter's husband sounds a dream with his cooking skills and the way he's supporting his newly expanded family unit! Maybe he could do parenting classes for new dads to be! I'm sure there are a lot of women out there who would love their other halves to be more like him!

    I can't complain though . . . My partner is very supportive and a chef to boot! So no culinary worries for me! Both sets of our children are grown up now so no extra duties for him to perform on that score! I think cooking and his unique way of doing the household chores is enough for him to contend with at the moment! I think he'll be glad when I can take over the reins again - not going to rush though. Doctor's orders! !

    I was sorry to read that your hubby's pain has been breaking through. Hopefully, the new baby will continue to raise his spirits, along with the well deserved 'spirit' on a Friday evening!

    The bad weather you've experienced hasn't reached us here (Yorkshire) so I'm hoping to get out for a walk in a few minutes. My dad and his wife are 'popping over' as my dad calls it . . . It's a 180 mile round trip!!!!!! Bless him. He's bringing over the bird table that he's made me so I can relax and watch the birds from my patio window. Think my 2 cats will love the show too!

    Glad you managed to get to the Farmers' market and treated yourself to some cheese! Delicious. Cheese is one of my downfalls! I'd rather have a chunk of cheese than a chunk of chocolate! 

    Enjoy a peaceful afternoon and don't forget to get some energy points in the bank ready for next week when you're taking on the role of Super Gran!

    Take care, Jules, and hugs to you and your family, Jo xx

  • Hi Tonic

    Not sure how often you pop on to read around but just wanted to offer my condolences on the loss of your Mum.  I have only just see your posting on another thread and just wanted to say will be thinking of you at this emotional time.  I am sure you are surrounded by your loving family but can well understand why you want to see the end of 2013.  Sending virtual hugs and peaceful thoughts at this sad time. Jules xx

  • Just wanted to say congratulations to you Jules on the birth of your grandchild.  Sorry to hear there were some complications but the main things is both mum and baby are home and doing well now.  Take care.xxx

  • Thanks so much Beaker. Its lovely to have the support and response on the forum.  Happily my daughter has been signed off my the midwife (as has baby) and just needs to take 2 weeks of iron tablets for now and go to clinic in 2 weeks's time.  Baby had lost a few ounces (but thats quite normal) and they were all out today registering his birth so popped into show him off at my place of work.  Very sweet.

    Take care of yourself.  Jules xx

  • Hi Jules,

    Glas to read your daughter and Zack have been signed off. That was a nice touch; bringing him into your work place. I bet it pleased you.

    Enjoy your two weeks off and bet you are going to give Zack more than a few cuddles.

    Do take care, Brian.

  • Thanks Brian. Yes my workmates have been great support to me and were delighted to see the little new edition.My daughter often pops into the shop when out shopping so they have seen he pregnancy progress - only fair that they can ooh and ahh over the baby.  Think my daughter had done enough for one day though and no doubt she is sitting with her feet up now as her hubby is a wizz round the house and very 'hands on'.  The other Nana was supposed to be visiting this afternoon and the other Grandad (they are divorced) and his new wife will be popping down on Thursday (they come from the North now) so think that takes in most of the immediate relatives visiting.  My daughter is not one to sit still for long and I am going to give her a hand on Thursday (fetching and carrying etc) but expect it will be more like a girlie gossip with the menfolk out of the way. My hubby has been asked to pop into the old workplace as they have a problem to solve (need his brain!!).  First day of my hols tomorrow and I am off to the hospital to get my blood tests done - 6mths has passed so quickly and will be interesting to see the results in a couple of weeks regarding my cholesterol levels.  If nothing else I am a little over a stone lighter!!!  Of course, if the levels have not dropped I will be celebrating with a very large bar of chocolate and then taking the pills!!!

    Hope you are feeling much better now and continuing to take it a little easier and also that your wife is feeling better following her tumble.  Best wishes  for a peaceful week and hope you can soon catch up with the grandchildren as they help make us smile.  Jules xx

  • Hi Jules many thanks for your condolenses, so thoughtful of you , xx I dont come on very often but do like to see whats happening, have a nosey!. I, m not very good at joining in the conversations though.So happy for you , noticed your daughter has been discharged and family all home together xx enjoy your time off work with them, thinking of you often even when I am not on line take care x tonic

  • Hi Tonic

    Sorry to hear your news and my thoughts are with you at this time of year.

    Take care and look after yourself and if there is any pampering on offer grab it with both hands.

    Mickied with virtual hugs

  • Hi Jules

    Great news your daughter is home again with her little bundle of joy.  Tell her not to be doing too much and listen to what her body tells her.  She will have no worries whenever her mum is about.

    Glad to see your hubby's work still call upon him and no doubt he will not hesitate when he receives that call.

    Good luck with the blood tests.  My mum has to get those carried out too because of her cholesterol levels.  Heart problems run in her family so she needs to get her bloods checked every 4 months.

    Still no news on the work front and as they say no news is good news.  I just recall the same thing happening this time last year too.

    Well enough from me and I hope you enjoy your time off with your new baby grandson and daughter.

    Take care

    Mickied