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Continuing the journey

jules54
Offline

Hi All

Decided to drop the 'month' from the title of this thread as time moves so quickly and the date becomes irrevelant so quickly.

Hubby and I both feeling pretty drained today but not because of his illness. However it is something that has made both us further stressed and 'outside our control'.  Prepare yourselves for a rant or look away now.

Having put in a long work day yesterday (both of us). I switched on my mobile on leaving work to find a message from the social worker for Mum (regular readers of my thread will know what we have been going through recently).  The upshott of this message was that the Social Services panel have decided that they can offer Mum a place at a sheltered housing complex but not the most local one. The call was to advise me of the panel's decision and to tell me that a visit will be arranged this week, preferably by Wednesday, for Mum to be taken to visit the flat and be told about the package of care and how it will work. They require a decision from Mrs K (this is how my mother is addressed in the follow up e-mail!!) by Friday otherwise the placement will be offered to another service provider!  Unfortunately this means Mum has little choice but to move further away (closest sheltered housing has no vacancy and they are  not willing to help fund where she has spent the last 9 months 'settling in').  The guilt I feel at being unable to cope with this is overwhelming, my hubby is very supportive and angry in equal parts and I am dreading the days ahead.  I am unable to take leave and my negative feelings towards her social worker would not work in Mum's favour as she needs to go on the visit with an open mind and the care home staff state she is quite able to make her own mind up.  If she agrees I will be unable to visit as regularly (my problem not theirs of course) but apparently the social worker will accompany her and I have asked to be kept informed.

Even typing this is making me sad/angry/frustrated and emotionally/physically drained.  I was due to visit Mum today but this is on hold until I have spoken to the care home this morning. Hubby says I should leave it till later in the week when we know what is going on and I suspect he is right (bearing in mind my physical upset involves many 'loo' visits (enough said!!)).

Sorry for all the negativity but just needed to get it out and try and get  myself together before I start on the phone calls.

Hope everyone has a good day.  Regards Julesxx

  • Offline in reply to sueanne

     

    Just wanted to say Hi Jules in case you pop online again today. Must have been an awful day for you today sorting out all the 'official' bits, I cant imagine how you must be feeling.  I am away from wifi for a few days while I go through some hospital visits but will be holding you close in my thoughts lovely lady x

  • Offline in reply to KathyS

    Thanks for that Kathy.

    Annabel xx

  • Offline in reply to Meerkat@65

    Hi there lovely Jo,

    Here is the elusive woman. A pity pm ing is not up and running. It was always very useful as one could talk very privately when needed at times. 

    I am happy to exchange email addresses with you and the best way I can think of is for you to email our business and pass yours to me and then I will reply to you and you will have mine. See what you think Jo. 

    Our business is    enquiries@greenbarncottages.co.uk           

    If you decide to, then I will inform him indoors, and  tell him it's not a booking!!!! LOL  and ask him to send it from the office to me here in the dining room.LOL. Hope to speak soon love and hear how you are doing. Hugs Annabel. xx

  • Offline in reply to Annabel

    Jules, still thinking of you and the family and sending even more hugs.

    Annabel. xx

  • Offline in reply to Annabel

    Jules, still thinking of you and the family and sending even more hugs.

    Annabel. xx

  • Offline in reply to Annabel

    That's great Annabel. Already on to it xx

  • Offline in reply to sueanne

    Hello all

    Good to hear from all my virtual buddies and knowing I can drop in when the mood/need takes me!

    Today has been morning to afternoon appointments but all arrangements now made (me and kids sticking to each other like glue so many chairs required at each venue) and celebration of hubby's life on 19th Jan with refreshments following at his regular Friday night watering hole. Cannot believe it is only Tuesday and we have achieved so much. I also managed to pop into work to see the guys and girls (was taking in my 'sick note' but left it at home!!!!! though manager says no hurry).  Quiet day planned tomorrow (need to catch up with normal things especially washing/housework and also give the kids some time to themselves).Could well be doing paperwork for months to come but plenty of time to sort through things.

    Eldest grandson fine (despite big egg on forehead) went into school and to tennis club and then to tea with friends and little Zack came with us and was as good as gold bless him. We had lunch out as it was easier to kill time talking over a meal and then once appointments over daughter and son in law took me shopping before bringing me home and we gave the little one tea here before they took him home to bed.

    Tomorrow will be one of many phone calls to give people funeral info.  Hubby's siblings are coming over a couple of days beforehand so will no doubt be spending time hearing all about their new life.  They are currently virtually camping in their new home and builders start work next week.

    Right, best go and get my dinner.  Thanks for your continued kind thoughts. Hugs returned to you all.Jules x

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Hi Jules,  Am so glad you and your family are supporting each other so well at this difficult time. I know how busy the early days are so you take care and know we are all thinking of you.  Hope xx

  • Offline in reply to jules54

    Good morning Jules,

    Thanks for the latest update. Well done for the progress you made re arrangements even though I know it must have been very emotional for you. Glad grandson has not suffered any ill affects from his collision with the door frame.

    Mrs B is pleased to get her routine back to normal; both of us had trouble working out what day it was. My curser is once again playing up and jumping round the screen and consequently i ened up typing bits in something I has written earlier Grrrr

    So glad your family are supporting you so well and I know you appreciate their help.

    Take care Jules, still thinking of you, Brian

     

  • Offline in reply to woodworm

    Thanks Brian

    Have not had such a busy telephone line for many a year! Starting with official appointments again as from tomorrow and am waiting for vicar to call as regards service(though he may have a problem squeezing in a visit).  Learnt today that will definitely need to go to Probate and have free advisory meeting courtesy of the bank next week when a 'very nice chap' will come to the house.  Have told the children that we do not need to cope with this (would rather pay a professional to deal with it all) on top of everything else. Spent most of this morning catching up on calls to let people know arrangements etc and have just sat down to lunch and told myself the rest of the calls/letters can wait till later (desparately trying to pace myself but just want to get things done and organised).  Of course being busy is my way of coping (dont worry am finding time to have emotional outpourings from time to time - not one to bottle it up) but am finding it strangely calming to talk to all his ex workmates/friends now.

    Glad you are both managing a return to 'normal' routines (really does help).  Sorry the computer still causing 'naughty glitches'.  First thing I did today was get Internet into my name so I dont get cut off now hubby not paying the bills (his account of course frozen til probate obtained).  Typically I now have untility bills arriving so plenty to keep me amused (NOT)!.

     

    Hope you and Mrs B plus the family are keeping okay.  Has your brother in law had his follow u p appointment yet - am sure it is this month but cannot remember date - senility setting in already.

    Take care and appreciate  your kind words.  Hugs  Jules x

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