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Loneliness waiting for biopsy results

Crow_
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Hi

New here

I had a biopsy done on a breast lump 3 days ago (along with mammogram and ultrasound). I'm feeling ok as the doctor was reassuring that even if it turns out to be cancer it is small and everything looks clear around it, so would be a case of removing it and lymph nodes and a remote chance I would need radiotherapy.

The thing is I live alone and I've only told a couple of people what's going on and they have just been so uninterested. Maybe I emphasised too much that I was doing ok. One friend, when I told her, didn't ask a single question about anything, like when I was getting the results, what they thought it might be etc, just changed the subject. Another was similar - she was more supportive when I told her about finding the lump, but the first time I saw her after all the tests didn't want to know anything about. I don't want to get too martyr-complex about it but I feel so isolated and like I need it to be my turn to be the one getting a bit of support. I'm genuinely not freaking out about the results and don't want to take over all conversations with this, but I have to admit I wish someone cared.

  • Offline in reply to Songbird68

    Hi [@Songbird68]‍ 

    I think you're right, makes sense...I am prone to procrastinate when it comes to announcing anything emotionally difficult or confronting.

    It matters not which foe has caused the scars...you "get it" so your support and words of wisdom from your own experiences are valuable and relevant xx

  • Offline in reply to Plumlet

    Hi [@Plumlet]‍ 

    Thanks for the kind words. Anytime you need an ear so to speak - just throw me a message. It's funny I am very good at articulating my feelings in words, but often don't speak of the darker thoughts I have until they are really bothering me, which is not the best way! I can speak up freely for everyone who means anything to me - but am silent for myself (unless I am writing it - and that's what I will do when it comes to lack of results)..

    Funny I do see my scars as my life story. Each mark has it's memories and each one reminds me that every day is precious.

    Hugs xx

     

     

  • Offline in reply to Songbird68

    Thanks [@Songbird68]‍ . So it is cancer. Is her2 positive (guess I'm going to have to start learning a whole new vocabulary now) so will need need chemo even though was told in my last appointment this wouldn't happen even in the worst case scenario for me. He said the drug is very effective but didn't give me the name of it. I asked but they just handed me a very general booklet which doesn't list specific drugs- so now I'm worried he wouldn't tell me the name because it's a really nasty thing to take, I don't know. I am a bit freaked out by the prospect of chemotherapy but am starting to get my head around it. Have to meet another doctor tomorrow to decide whether I should have it before or after surgery.

    On the plus side people around me have been so great and I think them not seeming bothered before was them thinking nothing would be wrong or not wanting to make me worried...or whatever, don't want to be someone who claims they can read other people's minds! But they're being supportive now anyway.

    Thanks for the chats people, it has helped. I might take a little time away from the forum as I think I need a break from reading about this stuff but I'll be back...

    Hope you get your results soon Songbird and hope it's good news x

  • Offline in reply to Crow_

    Hi [@Crow_]‍ 

    Really sorry to hear your news.

    I am glad to hear your friends are stepping up to support you! Completely understandable you need to take a break from here and get your head around the information you got today.

    Sending hugs xx

  • Offline in reply to Crow_

    Hi [@Crow_]‍ 

    Sorry have only just seen this and also sorry that it wasn't better news.

    I've just found out I'm HER2 negative so the drugs that you'll be offered that are effective for HER2 positive wont work on me.

    No treatments are without potential side effects so its a case of weighing up the risks, you have a choice though, its your body.

    Yes, a lot to get your head around but as Songbird says it's good to hear your friends have stepped up and you've got some face to face support from people who know you well.

    That aside, I'm only a message away on here if you need me.

    Best of luck with the next steps :love:

  • Offline in reply to Crow_

    Oh Crow_ I'm so sorry to hear that news I hope you've surrounded yourself with good friends and family and you're doing ok. Xx

  • Offline in reply to Crow_

    Hi [@Crow_]‍ 

    Just wondering if you're doing OK... 

  • Offline in reply to Plumlet

    Sorry I never replied @Plumlet. Just didn't seem to have the mental energy to type with everything else going on! But I really appreciated you asking after me. I hope things are okay with you x

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