Dear Mary ,yes good idea putting things down in writing so others can see that cancer isn't a quick death sentence for everyone.

We went for a little jaunt to local shopping area other day to get brenda usto scooter and rough footpaths and road junctions I started her off slow speed but within seconds she'd turned it up and bombing off on her own,hers goes faster than mine ,took walking frame on mine so she could look around shops, she had a lovely time but doesn't think about others on junctions hope she'll learn soon, luckily it's a quiet area.for her to learn .

I've sold my car its hardly been used last two years, not worth much anyway  but being diesel,engine management keeps coming on because of short journeys needs good long runs . I told new buyer he wasn't bothered his father and his wife said they have same problem.

Thinking of you My dear mary.

Hope you are keeping well and warm as weather has changed lately .

Love Billy xxxx

PS my oncologist gave me 5 years itt early 6 now  ,as you I had something to live for as I promised to look after brenda when she got old or she wouldn't have married me, she was always worried about being nearly 14years older than me .

I've got my third covid jab on Wednesday hoping it doesn't knock me for 6 as second one did.going there on scooter ,

Take care. XX

Hey there

I have just been diagnosed with metastatic ca breast and am so upset. Millions oof thoughts racing through my head. Wondering if you have any tips? I have read some stuff about going on a plant based diet. How have yoy navigate this?

Hello there Julie,

Yes it is terrible. You will be upset. I know I was. I am. I always will be. Nothing changes that, but you will learn to live with it.

I am very happy to chat to you at any time privately or on here. Please be really careful how you approach things. I should think your medical team will offer you some treatments that will aim to help. And that will give you time to think.

Please take heart that there are quite a lot of us living with metastatic cancer now, and that it isn't automatically a death sentence. The "median" for my cancer at the start of my own journey was very short as I was terribly ill. But, ten years on I have just been looking after the kids on half term.

Take time to work things out for yourself.

And that word "time" is so hard. But you will find your own way of approaching this.

As I have said, I am always happy to talk about the things that I feel have helped me, alongside my medical treatment. In the meantime please try to stay as healthy as you can so that you are in a good position to access all the medical treatments that your team will offer.

Speak to you very soon I hope. I shall check back here tomorrow between kids. My daughter is over to stay with her one and two year old. It will be hectic, but lovely  :)

Huge great big hugs!

Mary

xxx

Hi Mary

Thanks for such an early reply. You seem to be doing amazingly well. What was your primary? Do you do any lifestyle modifications?

Hi again Julie,

My Primary was breast cancer. Moderately aggressive Invasive Ductal Carcenoma. It had spread throughout both of my lungs and liver before I knew anythging about it. My first symptoms were acute tiredness and breathlessness (I had fluid in my lungs).

In answer to your question about lifestyle changes- please do look at my user profile and it will explain some of my approach (as will a number of conversations I have had on this forum). Not everyone wants to make lifestyle changes, and it does not suit everyone, and I cannot say that it works. So I don't push my views on anyone. Having said all that, I feel that the things I have changed in my life (alongside my medical treatment and with full knowledge of my doctors) have helped me personally in many ways. Those things include: diet, exercise, meditation, laughter, and lots more.

Please do message me if you want to know more about the things I try to do for myself. I cannot give advice and am not medically trained, but am always happy to talk about the extra things I feel have helped me.

I shall have more time to answer you properly next week. My daughter and her children are staying and I'm shattered! The grandchildren are rather restless this evening and I can't concentrate properly on my typing :wink:

Looking forward to chatting to you soon,

Mary x

i would love to know what you do for yourself. I dont find this the easiest site to use but have to admit to not being great on facebook either!

HI Mare

i wrote to you previously asking what lifestyle changes you had made for yourself. I know that you cannot recommend anything but would value hearing about anything that you feel has helped you

Thanks so much

Hi dear Mary , 

Hope things are going well with you now colder weather and you have outside building up for motorbike and furniture sorted out .

Weather cold now, brought scooters in passage beside house so there under cover, still do shopping on them when not to bad weather, covered up well . Brenda started having bad dreams and forgetting where she is and panicking more often she shouts me and calms down when I come to her i have watch her meds wise otherwise she throws meds in commode I've warned her she needs them she just says she's fed up taking them ,so I get them down her to make sure.

Strimmed grass other day,(to wet for mower) ,got tree up and trimmings, going to get Christmas food nearer time ..

Bella might have cancer vet wasn't sure so trying on antibiotics first ,We are hoping .

Thinking of you and wishing you a long life and a good one.

Love Billy xxxx 

Ps forget to say, my BP still not right yet but has improved im doing more jobs around the house and some DIY, still taking it easy when i can.

Oh,, dear Billy,

Things are all fine here as I type, but the shed hasn't been delivered yet - sometime in January we think. So Tony still isn't quite moved in, hahahaha :laugh:

I don't mind the cold weather too much as long as it's not wet as well. Then I can go out and try a walk or two to rehabilitate my sore hip.

I hope you have plenty of people close who will bring your shopping in the bad weather? And I also hope we are not heading for another lockdown. Fingers crossed not that again!

It sounds a bit like things are getting more difficult over there for you? Brenda is a wonderfully lucky woman to have you beside her. It must be very hard to stay positive sometimes Billy. Please know you have all my best wishes, and do send my love to Brenda too please.

I've been out in the garden too a bit, and the contact with the natural world that it brings me is really comforting, and it helps me to look up at the sky. I wonder why a face full of sky is so warming to the soul?

Hopefully the antibiotics will help Bella- I shall keep everything crossed for you that they do. Whatever happens you will know that you have done your best for her.

I am glad you are feeling a bit better (enough to do some jobs) - I always feel better when I achieve something in my day. Please do take it easy too though! I have taken up knitting, and wood whittling and I'm really rubbish at both, but I enjoy them. I also listen to audio books and enjoy a good whodunnit! Is there anything that you also enjoy doing that takes you away from the daily chores?

Thinking of you and reflecting all those  good wishes to you and more,

Looking forward to seeing some more sunshine again,

Lots of love,

Mary

xxxx