2 months ago, I was diagnosed with Wilms Tumor, spread to my lung. I was incredibly ill when coming in, and was very close to death. Luckily, I'm still here today, and my surgery is within the next couple weeks. I couldn't eat for 43 days, and didn't eat solid foods for 50. So many times I've been in immense pain, and felt completely out of control. I don't feel like a human. Urinating in pots, everything about your body being scrutinised and looked at (figuratively and literally) under a microscope.
I had a promising future, and was about to start my GCSE's at school. I've competed in high level junior maths competitions in school, and I'm in programmes that aim to send those in them to top universities. Now, with the chemo I'm so tired and cannot currently perform to the level I was previously able to. My school have refused to send any work over to me. I just feel like my future has collapsed in front of my eyes. My friends all said they'd try to visit me, and even though I've been home at certain points, they have never made an effort. Some people from my school have celebrated my sickness, and I just feel so alienated that I'll never be able to renter normal society.
This is all taking a toll on my mental health significantly, for which I've had no support whatsoever. Not to mention the anniversary of my mother's death, due to cancer, which relapsed, is in a few days. I'm really struggling.
