Stage 4 Cancer at 14 years old, lost my mum to cancer 2 years ago. I feel like I'll never return to normal life, and that I'm going insane.

2 months ago, I was diagnosed with Wilms Tumor, spread to my lung. I was incredibly ill when coming in, and was very close to death. Luckily, I'm still here today, and my surgery is within the next couple weeks. I couldn't eat for 43 days, and didn't eat solid foods for 50. So many times I've been in immense pain, and felt completely out of control. I don't feel like a human. Urinating in pots, everything about your body being scrutinised and looked at (figuratively and literally) under a microscope. 

I had a promising future, and was about to start my GCSE's at school. I've competed in high level junior maths competitions in school, and I'm in programmes that aim to send those in them to top universities. Now, with the chemo I'm so tired and cannot currently perform to the level I was previously able to. My school have refused to send any work over to me. I just feel like my future has collapsed in front of my eyes. My friends all said they'd try to visit me, and even though I've been home at certain points, they have never made an effort. Some people from my school have celebrated my sickness, and I just feel so alienated that I'll never be able to renter normal society.

This is all taking a toll on my mental health significantly, for which I've had no support whatsoever. Not to mention the anniversary of my mother's death, due to cancer, which relapsed, is in a few days. I'm really struggling.

  • Hi GoCanucksGo, and welcome to the Cancer Chat forum.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and everything you're going through.

    I can't begin to imagine how incredibly difficult and challenging this time must be, but I hope by finding our community you can see that you are not alone and hopefully some of our members will be along soon to offer their support and advice.

    Speaking of support, I can see in your post that you mentioned you haven't received any for your mental health. I'm really sorry to hear this but I hope this section of our website that addresses mental health and cancer will help. There's also a free UK text messaging service you can contact on 85258 called SHOUT that is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to anyone struggling with their mental health and a website called The Mix you may be interested in getting in touch with as they offer free, confidential support through one on one webchats, discussions boards, counselling and support groups to anyone under the age of 25.  

    There are various websites which are specifically aimed at young people/teenagers with cancer such as Young Lives Vs Cancer, Teenage Cancer Trust and CCLG: The Children & Young People’s Cancer Association that you can get support through as well. 

    With the anniversary of your mother's death being close by I wanted to make you aware of some resources that specifically deal with coping and managing the complex emotions grief can bring when approaching certain milestones. Childline have trained counsellors you can speak to at any time – not just about your bereavement but also the impact your own cancer experience is having on you and a charity called Child Bereavement UK also provide expert bereavement support via phone, live chat, email or text/WhatsApp from 8am to 8pm, Monday to Friday to anyone who has experienced the loss of a parent.

    I know your education is very important to you and not being able to do any more work at the moment must be very upsetting, but I hope this article I've found about returning to school after medical leave will help to calm your mind and help you feel more prepared for when that time comes.

    I'm not sure from your post if you have spoken to your family, GP and/or medical team about any of this but if not, do try opening up to them if you can so they can provide you with all the necessary support you need at this time.

    Our thoughts are with you GoCanucksGo and we're wishing you all the best with your treatment. You're in the thick of it right now, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Until then, be kind to yourself and try to take things one day at a time. 

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Heya.

    Welcome to the forums in order to start with. Call the helpline 0808 800 4040 to talk with a nurse. Hopefully you can get more advice that way. Best wishes too. Action Kidney Cancer has a useful website. It is full of good information that is useful. Search online.

    You can do this. When you meet with the team ask them about your treatment options. Keep us updated.