I am so sorry to hear this and know how difficult this is to come to terms with.
I lost my own mother 28 years ago following a 12 year battle with breast cancer, which eventually spread to her brain, bones, liver and lungs. It was soul destroying watching her deteriorate and not being able to help her. At the end I was relieved that she was no longer suffering, but I missed her sorely and still do after all these years. What has kept me going is the fact that I know she would not want me to put my life on hold because of this, I have striven to live the life she taught me to live and to do my best to rear my young family as she would have wanted. As I said, I still miss her sorely, but I have come to accept the loss.
After only a month, I expect that you still feel numb and an air of unreality. We all take our own time to grieve. One thing that I found helpful to have, was a nice photo of my mum, which I placed in a prominent position. I would often find myself talking to her as I passed by, or even asking for advice and this is something which I found of great solace.
I hope that you have family or friends who can support you through this difficult time. To start with, I found it incredibly difficult to erase the memory of Mum's final months, which were extremely traumatic, but I'm glad to say that, we can now recall memories from happier times.
