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7,832 Views 8 Replies Last post: Jul 23, 2012 5:17 PM by TRACY@HOME RSS
crossstitchgirl 24 posts since
Oct 23, 2011
Currently Being Moderated

Oct 23, 2011 9:45 PM

husband has terminal cancer

My lovely husband was diagnosed out of the blue in July this year with primary lung cancer that has spread to his bones and liver. He had not felt well for a while but because he was diagnosed with COPD 5 years ago then we led to believe it was related to that....but it is not and they have given him months.

It is a real roller coaster ride and as I am sure so many of you know it is so hard to deal with. It feels unreal a lot of the time as if it is all happening to someone else. then another day it hits one or both of us like a train.

We can talk and have about many things but the anger seems to be coming out and also the pain. I try to keep strong for him but find myself breaking down at the strangest times.

everything has changed so much.

smilerjules 5 posts since
Jan 24, 2011
Currently Being Moderated
1. Oct 24, 2011 2:41 AM in response to: crossstitchgirl
Re: husband has terminal cancer

Dear Crossstitchgirl,

 

I have just replied to your response on the other thread and then saw this.

 

I am so , so sorry you are both going through this.  It takes a while for it all to sink in , and for my man and I, it took a long while to go through a period of acceptance. .I too kept breaking down at odd times, thoughts just come into your head. 

I try to tell myself every day  what I am about  to tell you... ....... Make  beautiful memories.....seize the moment .....live in the 'now',  tomorrow will take care of itself.....Keeping positive is everything, miracles do happen,....talk,talk,and more talk,laugh and cry,...When emotions subside, live ,live, live. How you will manage to do these things,I know not, as I am struggling also ,but you will as I will, because you are given the strength from I know not where to cope with it as I will be too.

 

I hear you too...... In my thoughts x

Daisymay 1 posts since
Oct 30, 2011
Currently Being Moderated
2. Oct 30, 2011 11:51 PM in response to: crossstitchgirl
Re: husband has terminal cancer

Dear Crossstichgirl, I have just found this chatroom and have joined it to reply to you.  My husband  has bi-lateral lung cancer and COPD.  No treatment has been offered as he was already very breatheless and he was told he wasn't suitable for any of the treatment options.  I feel as you must. It is so hard to watch as he is just fading away. I hope you are getting some support, we have very little. Some of it is my husbands fault as he still smokes and hates taking any tablets. He is very depressed but trying to find any sort of support is impossible. He is so weak sometimes that he can't move for a while.  I know he is frightened of dying but he won't talk to me about it.  It has changed our whole lives. Everything is arranged around what he can or can't do.  All I want is someone to pop in sometimes and just sit and have a chat. He is so against the Macmillians and to be fair to him all they offer is help with benefits which we can't claim.  There don't seem to be local groups to join and he can't travel far.

Sorry to whinge on, you are having the same sort of worries. It is so nice to be able to talk to someone who understands.  Its hard to know that someone you have spent a lifetime with is going to be gone soon and there is nothing we can do about it.

candy 253 posts since
Feb 8, 2011
Currently Being Moderated
4. Nov 6, 2011 4:49 AM in response to: crossstitchgirl
Re: husband has terminal cancer

wellcome crossstichgiril, daisymay my heart goes out to you both i fully understand what yous are going through true it is no,one knows nor understands how it feels to loose a husband the only person you share your love, joy, happyness, with, hes your best freind. soulmate.my darling husband sadly passed away, 11/07/2011, due to lung, cancer, that spread to his lymph nodes, chest wall, brain, he was only 55yrs, leaving me a widow at 49, we had been together 34yrs,  our children are grown up adults with kids of there own, my husband wasnt into having mcm,nurses i was the one whom watched him suffer pain also most heart breaking was fade away despite me telling our kids that there dad was terminal no one seemed to notice the changes but me, he lost all interests not the man i married, i knew the end was near the day he spoke out loud my mums name also stareing out the window from the chair he sat on i used see him wave yet whom to, they say time heals, only its got worse for me, you see we done everything together, shopping, have meals together. now theres total emptyness staying alone my hearts broken, never will it mend, so i share, your pain, iv got a councilor again what wouid they know it hasnt happened to them. nor wouid i wish that upon anyone, please keep in touch my thoughts are with yous both,   

                                                                                                       lots of love liz

candy 253 posts since
Feb 8, 2011
Currently Being Moderated
6. Nov 7, 2011 7:13 PM in response to: crossstitchgirl
Re: husband has terminal cancer

hi helen i realy feel for you let his kids think say what they want end of the day your his wife always will be youve got your rights till death yous do part, never let anyone put you down, nor try to take over please keep in touch keep your head high i totaly symphayes with you as its a very hard difficult time for you your husband is lucky to have such a careing wife thats what you are

                                                                                             lots of love takecare from liz xx 

rblather 1 posts since
Jul 18, 2012
Currently Being Moderated
7. Jul 18, 2012 8:59 PM in response to: smilerjules
Re: husband has terminal cancer

WONDERFUL advice!  I know yours is an old post but this is the situation I'm facing now.  My husband has stage 4 gallbladder cancer that we found out about two weeks ago.  Your post has lifted my spirits.  Thank you so much.

TRACY@HOME 14 posts since
Jul 18, 2012
Currently Being Moderated
8. Jul 23, 2012 5:17 PM in response to: rblather
Re: husband has terminal cancer

crossstitch girl im so sorry to hear about your husband  please please try and stay strong for him  i know what you are going though im going though it with my mum  its hard i know that damm hard  and i send you hugs  .mum has only been given 6 0r more months to live and me being her carer  have to be strong for her as she is not to bad at the moment  but i do know how you feel  if you need to cry i go out side but the last 2 or 3 days ive not cryed  thing is dont let it build up else it wont do you any good be strong if you can my love  my heart goes out to you and all xx

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