Cancer Chat online community
it seems after working hard all his life to provide for his family, my dad has come into contact with asbestos and now has lung cancer, we have only just been told and are waiting to see the specialist which seems to be taking for ever. Dad has just got his pain under control sort of, but the dad i knew seems to be disappearing........... he has depression and i think has given up before we even begin the fight.
Two years ago my dad had symptoms of prostrate cancer and went to a specialist, who confirmed this but said they would monitor it. It got worse so dad went back to the hospital who sent a letter to my dads doctor saying he needed to be seen. The doctor filed the letter and my dad never received one from the hospital. A year later dad got even worse and went back to the hospital who said well we wrote to you a year ago to say you had cancer and needed treatment. Dad began his treatment but had side effects of swollen chest on one side and terrible pain, this was last november, since then he has been given pain killers and sent home by numerous doctors. Finally in desperation my mum called an ambulance, at the A&E a chest xray was taken and the doctor confirmed that my dad had a form of lung cancer. We are all hanging on a letter to see what can be done for my poor dad. All our lives revolve around this letter and the appt with the specialist. I have returned to work but i cannot concentrate really. Sometimes i think what will i do if i lose my dad and that makes me just cry. I feel very helpless and dont really know what to do or how to cope with this. I know this cant be cured. I just hope that my dad will get some time without pain to be able to enjoy his life. But i dont know. How do you cope with this dreadful fear that fills my thoughts nearly every night.
hi missyskidog, im so so sorry to read your post about your dad, youve come to the right site, its devestating for hospitals to get away with neglect yet nothing seems to improve, im in a similar situation my husband is terminal due to lung,cancer that has spreaded to his brain etc,this is a terrible disease you will get alot of help support from others takecare all my love from liz
Hi Missyskidog, I just found out two weeks ago that my dad has lung cancer and asbestosis also. His own GP had made out he was at deaths door looking at the same scan images as the specialist who now says the spot on the lungs are so small they can't even get to them with a syringe. I was an absolute mess until dad saw the consultant last Tuesday and he gave us what for us was good news after what the GP had said. We have since learnt he has prostrate and bone cancer also.He had a scan last week and is going for a biopsy today to discover the extent and density of the bone cancer. This site helped me in that you hear other peoples experiences. But if you read different posts you also hear a lot of positive, adn with my Dad and my mum being so very positive I have decided I have to be the same. I read one post where somebody was diagnosed with lung cancer and given six months and is still hear seven years later. Cancer is a lot more treatable now than it ever was. My dad isn't even having chemo. He is having tablets for 2 weeks (1 down) and then an injection, then tablets for another week and then monthly injections thereafter. He looks better now than he did when we thought he only had a chest infection and he feels positive and in very good form. Try to keep positive for your fathers sake and your own. It is very difficult I know... but you will get the strength from somewhere..... keep me posted...
Im really sorry to hear about your Dad. It really is scary isnt it but this site and chatting to people here really has helped me. I constantly cried for AGES thinking my Dad is going to leave us even though I know he has as much chance as anybody. As soon as people hear the C word we panic. I still do get upset about the thought of it and am deffinatly not myself. Dont feel like I can laugh or enjoy myself why he is at home worrying..... Guilt. My Dad has got to go back to the hospital next week for a biopsy, fitness test and scan as his scan pictures showed only half his lungs and belly but they could still see something on his left lung at the bottom. They have said it is operable and they are prepareing him for that but I am still beside myself at what the other half of the lungs will show. I think the unkown is the worst thing to deal with.
I really hope we can all help you.
Your sounding more positive in your messages which is great. Hope your Dad gets on ok today. Keep in touch.
thank you for talking to me, i am sorry to hear about your husband, things must be very hard for you both. Can i be positive about lung cancer ? I dont know, i do try, maybe i am still shocked at the news, as you never think cancer will come into your family. Did you need help to cope with this? I wonder if i should go to the doctors as i cant sleep, when i lay down my thoughts go to my dad and a fear grips me. Why do i keep thinking i am going to lose my dad, why cant i think things will be ok?
I hope you have support and help, i will always talk with you, i dont have experience of cancer but i have a kind heart and would certainly try to help.
thank you, i hope we get good news when we go to the specialist, i will keep you posted, i think i am just still shocked at the news, i am also very tired and emotional, as i cry at anything, i cant even talk about my dad without breaking down, but i know that this is just fear. I hope when we go to the hosp they talk to us about everything, good or bad, the fear of not knowing anything is making me worse because i fear the worse,
Love to your family
Your right leigh, i am so scared of not knowing anything, i need to be told and i am sure i will be when we go to the hosp this month. When someone in your family is told they have cancer its just like a huge weight is placed on you, i cannot smile or laugh or make plans because i feel i should not be happy at all. I dont know what the future holds for my dad, i know its going to be tough what ever it is.
Thank you for talking to me, cancer makes you feel so alone because you think no one can understand the pain you feel, but people on here do xxxxxx
Hi there missyskidog
How's your dad? When's his appointment? I can honestly say this has been the worst time of my life. It's horrible. Although now I have answers now I feel a little calmer knowing things are moving. Don't feel alone. I and everyone else are here to support you. I have made some great friend on here!
we had very bad news, there is nothing they can do for my beloved dad, it is stage 4 and is showing signs of moving into other areas, my dad took the news without flinching, my sister and my mum broke down, i have never felt pain like i do know. How can i get through this, my dad has suffered already yet i know there is more to come. which i cannot bear. we have decided my sister will be his carer, with me helping out at weekends and when i can, i have huge waves of despair that wash over me, i cannot eat because i have a bad stomach. what can i do? As you say, the worst time of my life. I hope you and your family are doing ok, thank you for talking to me, we got the news tuesday, so its all so raw
Take care, if it helps to talk to me, feel free
hye honey i know how your feeling im deeply sorry to hear about your dad, im also sorry i didnt get back to you i went and seen my g,p whom put me on medication to be honest its this site that keeps me going i cant sleep as my husband is sadly dieing how can i go on he is my first love,35yrs weve been together he was 55yr last week hes been an exellent hard worker a loving husband number1 dad and grandad life isnt easy nor am i a strong person im here shouid you want taik sending you a massive hug lotts of love takecare from lizxxxxx
Hello, what a terrible thing to find out, your poor dad having Prostrate cancer all this time, he has really been treated badly and now to find out about this Asbestosis........ i hope that in your country you have a procedure for people who have got Asbestosis through work, and that your dad can have compensation to help him with his care and treatment.
I live in England and have worked with a lady whos husband had this through contact at work and she recieved compensation from the goverment.
It helped them out a lot though of course it cannot make up for his illness it helped the family.
So sorry for your Dad , i wish him and all of the family lots of love Debbie.x ( Lung Cancer Stage 4)
I know that the pain is unbearable when you have to watch your beloved go through this awful thing. I wish i could hug you. There is nothing we can say to each other that takes the pain away but just having someone who is feeling the same as you helps. You will go on Liz but it will be hard and will take time. You will find strength from deep within you. My mum and dad have been married 60 years and like you, he was her first love, and mine too ! Try to gather people around you who you love and who loves you and your husband, i find having my sons around me helps. Please talk to me again Liz, i will do all i can to help you
sadly my dad is stage 4 lung cancer, not asbestos. We were told last tuesday that there is nothing they can do. I am trying to come to terms with this but i cant. I cant eat, sleep or think. I dont know what to do........I cry all the time.
sorry to hear about ur dad. u in a dark place at mo. every 1 deals with things in there own way. it will take some time to get ur head round what going off thats if u ever will. the only thing u can do is spend as much time with ur dad and build as many memories as u can. and also dont 4get to look after yourself as well. i no too well what u going through and it very hard. mum lovley mum lost the fight to lung cancer 6 weeks ago. we r all here to help u through this time and after. plz keep in touch
love claire xxx