Cancer Chat online community
Need some help to deal with my dad dying recently, He had been unwell on the 1st May and after various tests he was diaganosed with 2 seperate cancers, one was Lung Cancer the other Pancreatic which had spread to his kidneys, liver and bone. He was finally told on the 24th May there was nothing they could do for him and he came home to have some quality time with us, unfortunately he never had this because he died on the 6th June 2 weeks after being told, he was so brave in every way but i can not come to terms with it happening so fast we needed more time together as a family i feel so angry and hurt. Any advice would be great x
And welcome to cancer chat. So sorry to hear of your sad loss. It must have come as such a shock to you all as it happened so quickly. I can well understand you feeling angry and hurt. I don't know what advice I can offer that would be of help but you have, I believe taken a positive step in posting on this site. All I can say is to just take one day at a time at the moment. Life can at times be very unfair.
Please take care, regards Brian.
Sorry about your dad. Such a swift loss must be very hard to deal with. There are kind people here such as Woodworm who understand what you are going through and will be able to offer you support. I am also sending you a link from our patient information website which may help explain how you are feeling.
Hi Mumsy. My heart goes out to you and I know something of how you must be feeling. We lost my dad to liver cancer only one month after he started to feel poorly. We only got the diagnosis four days before he died. It all seemed so quick and unfair and there was no time to process anything or to come to terms with it.
I lost my dad four years ago now and I still think of him all of the time as he was truly loved. By comparison my mum is currently in the late stages o dying of lymphoma and we have had 15 months of treatments and pain and sadness and watching a once strong woman disintegrating in front of my eyes.
In many ways I have learned to appreciate that how my dad passed so quickly prevented so much ongoing pain and suffering for not only him but also for his family. I now think it was one last wonderful thing that my dad did for us in making our pain and vivid heartache as short as he could for us. We didn't have to spend weeks being frightened and in acute pain over months.
I don't know if it helps but a very wise person once said to me that you don't get over losing someone but you learn to live with the pain. I certainly found that to be true for me and I can now look back and think of my dad's quick passing as a gift from him - especially in the light of the last 15 months with my mum seeing her now in such pain and one third of her body weight and unable to eat or drink.
I know my words won't probably come as much comfort now but my thoughts are with you and I pray you find some peace. I am here to share and help you if you need someone who understands a little of your pain.
I am sorry to hear about your dad, I really feel for you and your family, and I understand why you are feeling so angry. I am just coming to terms with my dads lung cancer, and it is tearing me apart to see his face now with no spark in his eyes as it was always there, always joking and never taking life seriously. I agree with the post about having some comfort (if possible) from not seeing your dad go through prolonged suffering.
Take care xx
I am so sorry to hear about your dad.I lost my dad 26 years ago, he was the person I adored most in the world and still do. I and many other are thinking of you at this very sad time xxx