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This may not be a typical topic for discussion but I today find myself in a very strange yet very grateful position and i'd just like to see if anyone else has had a similar experience to mine or can offer any advice as i've been a bit thrown by my recent experience.

Mid-December last year I started to feel a bit off it, i'd been suffering from a bit of fatigue for a while but all of a sudden started with the following symptoms: shivery, headache, pain in my jaw, neck, left arm, shoulder, chest, back, I work in a school and just put it down to being busy or a bug i'd maybe picked up from one of the children.

These symptoms didn't go away and in fact a few days after they started I was woken up by my headboard banging on my bedroom wall caused by my heart beating so hard and fast.  This lasted all night but I managed to nod off and then go into work the following morning but was advised by colleagues that my face was swollen and slightly yellow and that my left arm was very swollen.  I went to be checked out at A & E who after some tests sent me to another local hospital where I was given a CT scan and an ultrasound.

The results showed ecluded and blocked veins amongst other things, in fact it seemed that they were constantly finding more things wrong.  I spent 9 days in hospital where I was started on steroids and painkillers and was discharged and told to await an appointment with a Thoracic Specialist.  This appointment revealed a mass likely to be malignant in nature and which the Specialist thought was a Lymphoma in the space behind my breast bone.  It wasn't very big but it was thought it had been there for some time and became larger the further into the tissue it went.  It had apparently knitted itself into or around the veins feeding my neck and head and was causing a Lyphedema.  The specialist who it turned out would also be my surgeon arranged for me to be to be admitted into a local private hospital as he wanted my case to be treated as urgent and I was duely admitted in early January for a Ridged Bhroncoscopy and a Mediastinoscopy in order for biopsies to be taken from the mass.

I listened to all the information given to me, was extremely grateful that, and I quote If I was going to have a cancer, it was a good one to have in terms of successful treatment and have remained positive throughout.

Thinking biopsies had been taken I started the post-procedure recovery and was suprised at a follow-up appointment to discover that actually no biopsy had been able to be taken as the very high dose of steroids i'd been put on had shrivIelled the mass so much that no biopsies could be taken and at a further follow up appointment was told that although 99.9% sure that I indeed had a Lymphoma, until it had grown back again (hopefully by 3 months after initial biopsy was taken and by no longer than 6 months) a proper diagnosis could not be made.

I attended a Heamatology appointment 2 weeks ago, the results of which were inconclusive and today had a chest xray which is now showing that my chest is clear.

This is now where I have hit a problem in terms of my emotions.  I know I should be feeling happy and relieved, this is such positive news, but i'm really struggling with the whole situation now.  Barmy I know but I was just wondering if anyone has been through anything similar and who can help me past this?