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Hi Tinkerbell,

Sorry I have only just seen your reply to me.

I am the same, I want to focus on my career and definately want to be married and settled before I start a family.

My Mums husband told me my Mum would have liked a grandchild, I found this comment cruel and pointless. Mum has been discussing going home from the Hospice to be cared for by district nurses and her other half. I am sad about this as the Hospice is within walking distance from my house. I have not been told much lately with reagrds to timescale, she is barely eating and sleeping more and more.

I think her pain may have eased of lighlty, or she is just hiding it well.

This can't have sunk in, how am I still functioning???

I miss her even though she is still around. I miss 'our' time. I am at a loss as to what to talk about and find it easier when others are around. I told her I don't think I can physically go to her funeral as it can't imagine being that strong. She seemed to accept this. She has told us the hymns she would like and where to scatter her ashes. Maybe this urgency with it all means the end is near.

I'm stuck in limbo and don't feel like I've been living since we found out. My boy friend has been great but I tend to not lean too much on people for support.

I hope everyone is managing to get about in the snow and I'm sending my love xxx

Hi Tinkerbell,

Thank you so much for your message.

Unfortunately we have been stold by the sister that Mum is not well enough to go home and the dispruption will be too much for her.

Finally, the pain is under control and she is being kept sedated. Sleeping on and off most of the day, she is becoming confused and mixing up her words.

The sister said she has now moved into the 'terminal' stage and does not have long left, they will keep her sedated and medicated as her organs are closing down.

She will eventually slip into a coma peacefuly. We have not told Mum this as I think it's best, she doesn't need to know.

All her Will and finances are being sorted this week and we've talked at great lengths about her funeral. I want to go but I don't know if I can. I am terrified of coffins and the thought of a 'body gives me shivers.

I know she wants me to and I know people will support me and breakign down is ok to do.

How have you been? xxx 

hi

   sorry you are hitting the rough patch. i no its easy for me to say but it will get a little beta. but then you hit other things ie mothers day, birthdays. i have me days where i just wont to shut myself away and stay in bed. when driving some where and think mum will never seen this again. i no it sounds silly but it the little things that you think about. my little one had a op the other week and i so missed mum cos she would have been there with me. plus i also had the flu and it woz so strange that mum woznt walking in with all the chemist in her bag to make me beta. hope you feeling beta soon. keep chugging through the dark times all my love claire xx

hi

   i no what you mean about mothers day. xmas was a bad one as well. it would also have been mum birthday in april. its mine next week and it seem so strange getting a card from dad with just dad on it. i talk a lot about mum it makes me feel close to her. i still have me days where things get too much and i cry at little things  cant stop the tears just come. i still ask why my mum she never hurt any one . some time you whish uyou had a magic wand to make all the things right. glad to hear the sun cheered you up a little. cant wait for the summer. the sun does help

                love claire xx