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7,900 Views 5 Replies Last post: Apr 24, 2010 5:52 PM by kevin RSS
1 posts since
Mar 18, 2010
Currently Being Moderated

Mar 18, 2010 12:37 PM

life after death of husband

How do you start a new life after the death of a partner. My husband was also my best friend, he died after 12 months of cancer treatment and a major operation. In the end it was very quick and unexpected and i didnt get to say goodby. I am finding it very hard to come to terms with. He had been working and building a bungalow for us to live in this was his ambition but a few months after finishing it he is gone, we never had the chance to enjoy our new home. Although i have lots of support from our family life is so lonley without him. Just talking about him makes me cry and although i put on a front in front of other people i feel lost.

georgemcc 116 posts since
Nov 30, 2009
Currently Being Moderated
1. Mar 18, 2010 1:17 PM in response to: marjorie
Re: life after death of husband


Hi Marjorie



So sorry for your loss, you must not put on a front, let yourself grieve, it's ok to cry and be angry with life. let family/friends help you. He got his ambition of your bungalow, he must been proud of that.



If you need to talk we are here






Rodis 1,075 posts since
Jun 25, 2008
Currently Being Moderated
2. Mar 18, 2010 5:00 PM in response to: marjorie
Re: life after death of husband


Hi Marjorie,



Welcome to Cancer Chat. Please accept my sincere condolences on you sad loss. I know exactly how you feel as I too lost my husband and best friend two weeks ago. There is nothing that anyone can say to you just now that will make you feel any better, you must give yourself time to grieve in which ever way is right for you - no two people are the same.



Life must go on, you must remember the good times and may be even the not so good, you will cry,laugh (that is ok too) talk about him, look at pictures and above all remember him before he was ill. My advise is do not put on a front with people, you are sad and lonely so let them know and allow them to comfort you when necessary. I have family too who have been a fantastic support to me as have members on this forum but they do not live near me and have work and commitments to attend to but we phone,text and e-mail which is a fantastic way of keeping in touch.



I started a thread on Colon Cancer when my husband was first diagnosed, perhaps you might like to read it also we could perhaps support each other as we are so new and raw to this thing called bereavement. I am more than happy to give you my e-mail address so will wait for your next post and take it from there. If you do not feel it is appropriate then that is ok as we can still support each other in this forum. My thoughts are with you, stay positive and we will get through this. Rodis.



Brokenman! 58 posts since
Mar 31, 2010
Currently Being Moderated
3. Mar 31, 2010 3:00 AM in response to: marjorie
Re: life after death of husband


Hi marjorie,sorry to hear about your loss.I have lost my wife in recent months at a young age.I truly do know how you feel but unfortunately can give you no advice on conquering these feelings.All i can say to you is that you are not alone in how you feel.I wake up in the morning & am at a loss as to what to do.I no longer have plans for the day ahead & just get through it as best i can.I put on a brave face & let people think i am o.k but really i am not.I too cry,even just thinking about my wife can set me off.The thing that gets me the most is the lonliness,i can be in a room full of family & friends but still feel as if i am on my own,that frightens me.



All we can do is cope the best we can marjorie & take each day as it comes,we'll get there one day even though it's a long way off yet.






159 posts since
Dec 11, 2009
Currently Being Moderated
4. Mar 31, 2010 9:20 AM in response to: marjorie
Re: life after death of husband


Hi Marjorie,



I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband, and offer my condolences to you.  I understand the feeling of being lost, and I hope you don't put on a front with everyone - is there someone in the family or a friend you can talk to?  Perhaps talking to a stranger about it might help, either by posting on here (we'll all reply, we promise) on contacting Cruse, the bereavement charity, who help people come to terms with their grief and allow you to express your feelings in a safe environment.  Even keeping a private journal may help to just get the feelings out?  I'm sorry you aren't physically sharing the bungalow with him, but I think it is lovely that he realised his dream and that the realisation of the bungalow means you are safe and comfortable in your home.  The house will always be an expression of him and so he is with you every day there.  Sorry if this doesn't help but please know you are safe to talk about him here with us - what is his name?



Much love xxx



96 posts since
Dec 17, 2008
Currently Being Moderated
5. Apr 24, 2010 5:52 PM in response to: marjorie
Re: life after death of husband



My husband Kevin died just over a year ago from aggressive cancer.  I know just what you are going through.  Don't hold the tears in.

I was married for 34 years and he was my best friend.  Life is so different now and at times very hard.  I am here if you want to talk.

Life changes as time goes by some days are better than others.  Hope to speak to you soon



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